When she left I was hoping that my husband would step up to the plate. Aren't husband's supposed to be your partner and be there for you? Isn't the vows in sickness and in health? I have never been so disappointed. I should not have to take care of my boys and myself when I am sick. It is just not right. I bend over hand and foot on the kids and my husband every day. I can count numerous things that I do for him on a daily basis. What has he done for me? What makes me stay in this relationship? He would probably say he works for me. Which is true but he would have been doing this anyway. He is obsessed with his job. Shouldn't family come first?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Week from Hell
I recently got really sick. I almost never go to the doctor so if I say I am going in then you know I really have something going on. So far they still have no clue what is wrong with me. I have had more symptoms than you can imagine but the one that keeps lingering on is this numbness and tingling sensation I have running throughout my body. I also have a high white blood cell count. I will post more on what it is when I find out. My wonderful mother came up and stayed with my for several days to take care of my boys and me.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas and Reading
I have found that I have a new passion in my life and that is reading. My life is always stressful and crazy busy with the twins and I have found picking up a book helps me escape from all that craziness. I can just get lost in a book for hours and am so happy reading about the trials of some fictional character. I cry, I laugh, and I smile. What a wonderful thing that books are doing for me.
I titled this Christmas because for Christmas my husband got me a Sony E-Reader. This is a device that you can download ebooks on to and read from there. The nice thing about this for me is that my little boys like to rip my books apart that I buy and take them all off the shelf every day. So this is so nice to have the capability to store hundreds of books and not have them destroy them. Lets just pray that Connor does not throw it in the toilet like he has done with some of my other devices! Oh the joys of being a mother of an autistic child!
I titled this Christmas because for Christmas my husband got me a Sony E-Reader. This is a device that you can download ebooks on to and read from there. The nice thing about this for me is that my little boys like to rip my books apart that I buy and take them all off the shelf every day. So this is so nice to have the capability to store hundreds of books and not have them destroy them. Lets just pray that Connor does not throw it in the toilet like he has done with some of my other devices! Oh the joys of being a mother of an autistic child!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
update on me
So I guess I have not been on here in awhile so I thought it was time to write. My friend Ciarra reminded me I had one of these accounts. Life has been rewarding and dissapointing for me lately.
I made huge steps about a month ago in getting the county to create a database for special needs kids so when they are called to the scene maybe the outcome will be a little bit better for those involved. There are to many horror stories of people getting shot because they did not understand what they were dealing with. So maybe I might have saved someone's life you never know.
On the flip side of things I have found out that my boys are not getting all that they are supposed to be getting through the school system and this concerns me greatly. My son Connor is for the most part non-verbal and to find out that he is not getting all his speech minutes saddens me. His number one goal in school should be improving his communication skills and without his speech therapy this is not possible. So I am considering now paying for extra services outside of school so my boys get all that they need.
I at least feel like I finally have a home in Bloomington now though. I have finally made great friends that I feel I can share with and that care about me. After I got out of college all of my friends left and then I was still here because of work and an ex boyfriend. I finally am happy about living in this town. I feel it is a safe place for my kids to grow up and I know that even though I am mad at the school system there are so many other places in town that can help my kids. I have found many of these places through the Autism Society of McLean County. I spend most of my free time helping that organization because it will only in turn help my kids and me as a parent.
Maybe I will start blogging more frequently again. It does help to write out my thoughts every once in awhile. So until next time.
I made huge steps about a month ago in getting the county to create a database for special needs kids so when they are called to the scene maybe the outcome will be a little bit better for those involved. There are to many horror stories of people getting shot because they did not understand what they were dealing with. So maybe I might have saved someone's life you never know.
On the flip side of things I have found out that my boys are not getting all that they are supposed to be getting through the school system and this concerns me greatly. My son Connor is for the most part non-verbal and to find out that he is not getting all his speech minutes saddens me. His number one goal in school should be improving his communication skills and without his speech therapy this is not possible. So I am considering now paying for extra services outside of school so my boys get all that they need.
I at least feel like I finally have a home in Bloomington now though. I have finally made great friends that I feel I can share with and that care about me. After I got out of college all of my friends left and then I was still here because of work and an ex boyfriend. I finally am happy about living in this town. I feel it is a safe place for my kids to grow up and I know that even though I am mad at the school system there are so many other places in town that can help my kids. I have found many of these places through the Autism Society of McLean County. I spend most of my free time helping that organization because it will only in turn help my kids and me as a parent.
Maybe I will start blogging more frequently again. It does help to write out my thoughts every once in awhile. So until next time.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sleep
Don't you just hate it when you are so stinking tired but you wake up and it is 4 in the morning and you are wide awake going why me? Lately, I can not sleep I go to sleep fine, but then my mind starts up again and I awake and begin to stare at the walls with wide open eyes? My little ones are not even the ones jumping on me saying mommy I want some juice.
My theory is I must have a lot of stress going on in my life right now. Is it me or does this economy just scare the hell out of you. I have a good job and I am pretty sure I have job security but who knows.
The stress of raising a family adds to my lack of sleep I think. It is not easy raising twin boys who have autism. I again ask myself why me. I know I am a strong person but that does not mean that I want to be all the time.
The other stress is being a wife. There is a lot of pressure in relationships of always trying to please. But, what if you are in a non pleasing mood. Do you suck it up and deal with it or do you have your way and live your life the way you want it? Food for thought.
Anyways I hope that I start sleeping again soon. I hate waking up when it is pitch black outside.
My theory is I must have a lot of stress going on in my life right now. Is it me or does this economy just scare the hell out of you. I have a good job and I am pretty sure I have job security but who knows.
The stress of raising a family adds to my lack of sleep I think. It is not easy raising twin boys who have autism. I again ask myself why me. I know I am a strong person but that does not mean that I want to be all the time.
The other stress is being a wife. There is a lot of pressure in relationships of always trying to please. But, what if you are in a non pleasing mood. Do you suck it up and deal with it or do you have your way and live your life the way you want it? Food for thought.
Anyways I hope that I start sleeping again soon. I hate waking up when it is pitch black outside.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Chicago Marathon
This Saturday, I went up to Chicago to watch my sister run her 4th Marathon. I went up to watch her because she was raising money for a charity which is near and dear to my heart. She was running for "Run for Autism." In order for her to be allowed to run, she had to raise $500 for a charity. My twin boys are both on the autism spectrum so I thought it was super cool she was running for them.
I can not even walk a marathon let alone run. How people want to run for almost 5 hours straight is beyond me? Unless, you are from Kenya and look like a skeleton and then you run it in 2 hours. Damn, they are fast! There were 45,000 runners. I feel this is an insane amount of people. Heather, my sister, ended up running it in 4 hours and 42 minutes. Normally, she runs it in right around 4 hours, but it was 84 degrees and humid and she was struggling to finish. It was not about time to her, it was about finishing this race because she was running and fighting for something she believed in. Needless to say, I am so very proud of her huge accomplishment and wanted to share it.
I can not even walk a marathon let alone run. How people want to run for almost 5 hours straight is beyond me? Unless, you are from Kenya and look like a skeleton and then you run it in 2 hours. Damn, they are fast! There were 45,000 runners. I feel this is an insane amount of people. Heather, my sister, ended up running it in 4 hours and 42 minutes. Normally, she runs it in right around 4 hours, but it was 84 degrees and humid and she was struggling to finish. It was not about time to her, it was about finishing this race because she was running and fighting for something she believed in. Needless to say, I am so very proud of her huge accomplishment and wanted to share it.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Monster Truck Show Hell
Tonight I was looking forward to a night of fun with my family. My kids love trucks more than anything in this world so I thought I should take them to the monster truck show. Boy do I wish I stayed home. We left the house and went to the US Cellular Coliseum and all was good. We got in line at the food stand and paid way too much for food but kids were happy so who cares. The second we get in our seats one of the twins, Taylor, starts telling me that he wants to go home. Then I remembered, he had not taken a nap all day so this was going to be interesting. (Note to self never take children out in public at night with no nap.)
So, they started the show and both my kids jumped in my lap at the sound of those massive machines. Taylor went in to sensory meltdown and kept saying "Mommy, I want to go home." I took him on a walk to calm him down and then went back to our seats and he started bawling. So, I got up again and took him on another walk. Then, we found a big screen tv in the family lounge so I turned that on and Taylor watched Spiderman on the Toon Disney Channel during the loudest show on earth. He then falls asleep on me for 30 minutes at the loudest show on earth. How he does that is beyond me?
I finally got him up again and walked back to where my husband Dan was sitting. He again proceeds to tell me "Mom, I want to go home." I told Dan it is time to go I can not take it anymore so Dan and I and the twins left.
We get to the car and Dan realizes he has no idea where the keys are. It is cold outside and I am with two kids who have not napped in downtown Bloomington at night with the crazies running the streets. UGGH! I felt like I was in a bad dream. He went back to the Coliseum and checked where we were sitting and did an entire walk around and still no keys. He then comes back to where I was in the parking lot, walking the kids in circles to entertain them, with no keys. UGGH AGAIN! He tried calling several of his friends and nothing.
I ended up calling my friend Dave who lives a block down the street to come and rescue me. I gave him my garage code and told him I thought that my keys were in the garage. So we wait awhile still outside in the cold for him to show up and he has the wrong keys. I decided to take the kids and myself with him to my house to look for the keys and left my husband in the cold till we got back. We went to my house and no keys anywhere so then I decided that I was going to go to Dan's shop to get his other truck to come and get him. I then discover in the truck are the extra keys to the car. Hooray! I am finally going to get to pick my car up and take it home.
I will never go to a Monster Truck Show ever again.
So, they started the show and both my kids jumped in my lap at the sound of those massive machines. Taylor went in to sensory meltdown and kept saying "Mommy, I want to go home." I took him on a walk to calm him down and then went back to our seats and he started bawling. So, I got up again and took him on another walk. Then, we found a big screen tv in the family lounge so I turned that on and Taylor watched Spiderman on the Toon Disney Channel during the loudest show on earth. He then falls asleep on me for 30 minutes at the loudest show on earth. How he does that is beyond me?
I finally got him up again and walked back to where my husband Dan was sitting. He again proceeds to tell me "Mom, I want to go home." I told Dan it is time to go I can not take it anymore so Dan and I and the twins left.
We get to the car and Dan realizes he has no idea where the keys are. It is cold outside and I am with two kids who have not napped in downtown Bloomington at night with the crazies running the streets. UGGH! I felt like I was in a bad dream. He went back to the Coliseum and checked where we were sitting and did an entire walk around and still no keys. He then comes back to where I was in the parking lot, walking the kids in circles to entertain them, with no keys. UGGH AGAIN! He tried calling several of his friends and nothing.
I ended up calling my friend Dave who lives a block down the street to come and rescue me. I gave him my garage code and told him I thought that my keys were in the garage. So we wait awhile still outside in the cold for him to show up and he has the wrong keys. I decided to take the kids and myself with him to my house to look for the keys and left my husband in the cold till we got back. We went to my house and no keys anywhere so then I decided that I was going to go to Dan's shop to get his other truck to come and get him. I then discover in the truck are the extra keys to the car. Hooray! I am finally going to get to pick my car up and take it home.
I will never go to a Monster Truck Show ever again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
