Blog from 3 years ago I wrote on a different blog about balance

Being a Successful Mom While Being in a Relationship

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Balance

Life is all about balance. In order to be a good mother you need to be able to balance your time well. I believe it is extremely important to make sure you have time in your schedule for family, partner, friends, and just you. Sometimes we lose who we are because as moms we are always worried about taking care of everyone else but ourselves.

Family time is extremely important. There needs to be time set a side every week where the tv and all electronics are shut off and you all get time to talk. It could be talking over dinner, talking over playing a board game, in the car on the way home from picking your children up from school or activities. Having good communication with the family is a key element to a successful family. Get to know each other. Share your days and you will feel rewarded that you are more deeply connected to your family.

Partner time is also crucial in being a successful mom. Couples need time to be deeply connected as well. Plan a date night at least once a month if not more. Mark it on your calendar and do not take it off. Take time to connect with your partner. Having a healthy relationship with your partner is so important. Also, make time to talk to each other about your children. Make sure you are both educated on what is going on in your families lives. Just remember to always be open minded and willing to work hard because no relationship is perfect. There are always ups and downs in life but setting time aside to bond with each other is needed!

Friend time is also very important. Some people feel once they are in a relationship that they need to spend time with only their significant other and that is it. This is not healthy. You need to be your own person. Being your own person means you do have a life outside your partner and kids. Go hang with friends and make your significant other stay with the kids. I love and need my girl time whether it is meeting someone for coffee, going to dinner or a movie. It is so nice to chat with the girls. It also helps me vent about the drama in my home life. A lot of times these friends will be going through similar situations and can bring a whole new perspective to the table. It is so important not to bottle things inside. This is why I love my girl time I can release anything I am feeling and they also know I am there to lend an ear when they need advice or just someone to vent to. Make time for your friends it is so rewarding!

Me time is the part most of us forget to do. We all need to make time to for ourselves. I know when my me time is needed. There are times when I am on edge and losing my patience with the kids and that is when I look at my husband and say, I need to take a break can you please take over? During my me times I like to read, or take a hot bath, or head out and run. Find something that makes your forget all your worries and de-stress. Maybe it is shopping, swimming, painting or whatever it may be, just do it and you will feel so much better when you are done. When you are de-stressed you will be a better mom because you will be ready to tackle the kids with a clear head.

Just remember if mama ain't happy nobody is happy and in order for mama to be happy you have to balance family, partner, friends and yourself!

Stressed to the Max

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like you are losing your marbles?

Man oh Man, I am having one of those days. I have this overwhelming sense that I am just not making anyone happy lately. On top of that I have this incredible fear of failure. I do not like to make mistakes, nothing anyone can say to me will make me feel any worse than I already have made myself feel if I ever mess up. I am an overachiever, I like to push myself to know everything I can. Be it learning to be a better mom, a better advocate, a better employee, a better friend. I think that the thing I am not doing is trying to make a better me. I am so consumed with trying to WOW everyone and please everyone, somewhere I have forgot about trying to please me. I am taking on too much, I am too stressed out. I am letting my anxiety take over.

I recently read a blog I wrote three years ago, man I was smart then. I just need to remember to maintain balance in my life. I need to remember to make time for me. I also need to let things go. Don't worry about everyone else's problems. If I am not well, I won't be any good to anyone else. I need to build myself back up so I can get back out there and be a fully charged voice in the world.

Here is what I am going to do:

Pray more!
Love on my kids more!
Exercise more!
Read more!
Write more!
Love me more!

Thanks me 3 years ago for the words I needed!!!

Oh that Naked Boy!

Monday was a gorgeous day, however it was a big tease, considering it is cold and windy again. Thank you mother nature for teasing us once again. Any way, after I got off work on Monday the boys begged me to let them go outside. Taylor by saying "Mom, I want to go outside?" and Connor by trying any way he could to try and get the door unlocked. So I gave in and let them enjoy that warm Monday afternoon.

We played t-ball, we played in the sandbox, and we played with our arsenal of John Deere toys. They were having a great time and then Connor headed inside, I let him stay in the house for about 15 minutes while Taylor and I were outside. Then I thought, maybe I should go see what he is doing. So Taylor and I went inside.

I found Connor in the bathroom overflowing the bath tub with stuffed animals, the area rugs for the floor and lots and lots of water. Did I mention he is sitting in the tub with all his clothes on? There was water everywhere. So I unplugged the drain, pulled him out and stripped his clothes off since they were soaking wet. I preceded to get towels out and clean up the bathroom. I figured I could dress Connor when I was done. So I got done cleaning up the mess and went downstairs and I can't find Connor anywhere. Taylor and I ran up and down the stairs looking for him.

So then I thought he went outside. My child is outside and he is naked. So I looked in the front of the house, and I looked in the back of the house, and I went up and down the street. My only thought at this point was "The Police are going to bring my child home naked and accuse me of child abuse." Well I followed that same path a few more times and then I thought Katie look in the truck. There he was naked as a jaybird laughing at me in the truck!

THAT LITTLE STINKER!

Special Kid

Why is it people are so afraid of the unknown or when things are different?

Connor may not act socially acceptable. He may flap his hands, or squeal like a pig when he is happy but why is that a bad thing. Why is it that we judge how someone is excited? Why is it we get older and lose our enthusiasm for life?

Connor teaches me everyday to try and be happy about every moment. He brings a smile to my face many times a day. Why would anyone be scared or afraid of something that is so pure? His love for life and the things in it is amazing.

Open your heart and your mind to new things. It may just be the best thing that ever happened in your life. You may see things in a much more appealing way than you did before. I love you Connor Mark Kelley!

Week from Hell

I recently got really sick. I almost never go to the doctor so if I say I am going in then you know I really have something going on. So far they still have no clue what is wrong with me. I have had more symptoms than you can imagine but the one that keeps lingering on is this numbness and tingling sensation I have running throughout my body. I also have a high white blood cell count. I will post more on what it is when I find out. My wonderful mother came up and stayed with my for several days to take care of my boys and me.

When she left I was hoping that my husband would step up to the plate. Aren't husband's supposed to be your partner and be there for you? Isn't the vows in sickness and in health? I have never been so disappointed. I should not have to take care of my boys and myself when I am sick. It is just not right. I bend over hand and foot on the kids and my husband every day. I can count numerous things that I do for him on a daily basis. What has he done for me? What makes me stay in this relationship? He would probably say he works for me. Which is true but he would have been doing this anyway. He is obsessed with his job. Shouldn't family come first?

Christmas and Reading

I have found that I have a new passion in my life and that is reading. My life is always stressful and crazy busy with the twins and I have found picking up a book helps me escape from all that craziness. I can just get lost in a book for hours and am so happy reading about the trials of some fictional character. I cry, I laugh, and I smile. What a wonderful thing that books are doing for me.

I titled this Christmas because for Christmas my husband got me a Sony E-Reader. This is a device that you can download ebooks on to and read from there. The nice thing about this for me is that my little boys like to rip my books apart that I buy and take them all off the shelf every day. So this is so nice to have the capability to store hundreds of books and not have them destroy them. Lets just pray that Connor does not throw it in the toilet like he has done with some of my other devices! Oh the joys of being a mother of an autistic child!

update on me

So I guess I have not been on here in awhile so I thought it was time to write. My friend Ciarra reminded me I had one of these accounts. Life has been rewarding and dissapointing for me lately.

I made huge steps about a month ago in getting the county to create a database for special needs kids so when they are called to the scene maybe the outcome will be a little bit better for those involved. There are to many horror stories of people getting shot because they did not understand what they were dealing with. So maybe I might have saved someone's life you never know.

On the flip side of things I have found out that my boys are not getting all that they are supposed to be getting through the school system and this concerns me greatly. My son Connor is for the most part non-verbal and to find out that he is not getting all his speech minutes saddens me. His number one goal in school should be improving his communication skills and without his speech therapy this is not possible. So I am considering now paying for extra services outside of school so my boys get all that they need.

I at least feel like I finally have a home in Bloomington now though. I have finally made great friends that I feel I can share with and that care about me. After I got out of college all of my friends left and then I was still here because of work and an ex boyfriend. I finally am happy about living in this town. I feel it is a safe place for my kids to grow up and I know that even though I am mad at the school system there are so many other places in town that can help my kids. I have found many of these places through the Autism Society of McLean County. I spend most of my free time helping that organization because it will only in turn help my kids and me as a parent.

Maybe I will start blogging more frequently again. It does help to write out my thoughts every once in awhile. So until next time.